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Author's Note: Written for Huinesoron's First Monthly PPC Writing Challenge. The Mysterious Somebody was created by Huinesoron.

“You know how it started, don’t you?”

Arvin paused, his hand fidgeting with the sonic screwdriver it held. He had been about to sit back down to his desk covered in malfunctioning CADs when the older man had spoken. As much as Arvin would have liked to get back to work, he supposed he owed it to Voctor Kamras to at least stop and hear what he had to say. After all, most of what Arvin knew he owed to Voctor’s careful training, back when a plothole had plucked the young Argivian out of his proper time and place and stranded him in the PPC’s original headquarters. Arvin placed his screwdriver down and leaned against the desk, watching the other technician.

Voctor relaxed as well, straightening his arms a bit before continuing. “You remember when you first arrived in part of the PPC?”

Arvin nodded. “In the museum.”

“Yes, the museum. Back then, that was the whole PPC. And that was where it first happened. The Mysterious Somebody.” Voctor started to smooth his hair away from his forehead, but seemed to think better of it and let his arm drop. “Three agents—very idiotic, susceptible to mind tricks—brought him back from my home continuum. A Sith Lord, lad, can you imagine?”

Saying nothing, Arvin continued to stare over Voctor’s shoulder.

“And all because agents were foolish enough to recruit characters from out of badfics back then! The Mysterious Somebody was the worst thing—the greatest disaster—to ever threaten the PPC. Certainly, there were others, though none as bad as the MS. And they were ALL badfic recruits. It’s amazing how long it took the Flowers to instate our current policy of only recruiting background canons from outside the influence of badfics. The chance is always present that we’ll wind up with Somebody Else just as bad.”

Voctor looked up at the ceiling, a bit longingly. “That is, after all, why we’ve installed all the departments on different worlds now. The DMS is, appropriately enough, in a formerly unsettled area of Middle-earth. Crossovers is stationed in Twilight Town in the Kingdom Hearts universe, and Bad Slash is in the old St. Mungo’s, before its staff joined together with that Muggle hospital. And, of course, we at DoSAT are currently in the former headquarters of the Men in Black, which was disbanded after the existence of aliens became common knowledge to the population of this world. We can accept applicants directly, and simply kill all the characters encountered in any badfic. It’s much safer all around.”

Arvin hung his head. “I know all this already.” After a pause, he added, “Sir.”

“Oh. Yes. Of course, lad!” Voctor chuckled in embarrassment. “I only meant—well, I wanted you to know that I’m proud of you for doing this. You must always be watchful for that next Somebody Else. And you mustn’t trust anyone…not even me.” Voctor gave a small smile, but Arvin didn’t see it.

He couldn’t bring himself to raise his head, to look his long-time tutor in the eye as the Weeds who had been restraining Voctor pulled him to the door and led him away.

Author's Note: Argive and Magic: The Gathering belong to Wizards of the Coast, while Sith Lords and Star Wars were created by George Lucas. Middle-earth belongs to J. R. R. Tolkien. Twilight Town and Kingdom Hearts belong to Disney and Square Enix. Men in Black was created by Walter F. Parkes and Laurie MacDonald. St. Mungo's and the term "Muggle" belong to J. K. Rowling.


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November 2016

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